Monday, 4 July 2016

Breakdown at the petrol pump

Sobbing whilst trying to fill your car up with petrol isn't a good look....trust me.

Things have started to crash down around me like a badly constructed Jenga pile of Pringles. Did I mention that I am set to graduate with a First class honours? Well to be honest it means nothing as I can't seem to get a job, in fact I seem unemployable. Is it because I'm old? Is it because I have five children? No idea but I'm jobless and useless.

Oh and the children, did I mention that my smarty pants eldest daughter got into a very nice grammar school. She loves it and she can't wait to go. However my dad has gone back on his word and refused to help with the fees, so now I have no way to pay for her and my dad has walked away....did I mention I was jobless....ah yes that's right.

So here I am sobbing into the petrol pump after working so hard for my degree to give us a better start in life for nothing to have materialised.

Yep what an absolute failure I am, I cannot bring a penny into the house yet I can fill everyday with voluntary work that I love, where is the logic in that????

Oh and it's my two eldest daughter's birthdays this week, how proud I am of them, it's just a shame their mother is absolutely clueless with a snotty nose and a petrol pump in her hand.

Saturday, 4 June 2016

Day out to Derwent dam

My husband is an aviation nut so this trip was inspired by his knowledge of the Lancaster bomber using Derwent dam as a training area for the bouncing bomb in WW2.

It was a green walled scenic drive to the Fairholmes visitor centre through the snake pass, the drive is decorated by deep leafy foliage and trees taller than imaginable for little one's eyes.

The car park is quite reasonable, £2.50 for 2 hours or £4.50 for all day. The visitor centre has toilets, lots of ducks, a little food take out cabin, and a gift shop. We came with a picnic and followed a well signed walk to Derwent dam. 

The views were impressive and there are so many places to walk and explore, we ended up having our picnic close to the shore of the reservoir.

It's a great day out steeped with historical significance. The wind started blowing as we sat eating and the sound of it whistling down the water and trees for a split second sounded just like the Lancaster flying overhead.













Thursday, 12 May 2016

Happy 6th birthday Fred!

Today Mr Freddie is 6 years old! Where has the time gone? My final baby and is such a brilliant little boy, even in the womb he had character and he is still brimming with smiles, humour, and fun.

I can't believe it's been six years since I gave birth after a very bumpy ambulance journey after a failed home birth. I wish I could have had him at home but it was still a great experience, especially with my husband and my friend Bobbie as my birth partner.

Happy birthday little man! 



Saturday, 30 April 2016

Grief

I read a post the other day that spoke about different types of grief. Recently my parents separated and moved into separate houses. At first I was grieving over how our family dynamic had changed, I tired to ignore it but in the end I had to confront it. 

Things are better now and my mum and I see each other frequently but the relationship with my dad is non existent. I see him for five minutes a week and I don't know who he is anymore. 

Things I show him are met with a vague acknowledgement, I ask him questions and he walks away, I ring his phone and he doesn't answer, he wears a ghastly Bluetooth tusk thing on his ear, there's no way he doesn't see my name flash up on his phone.

I feel like a little girl stood at the door with a cuddly toy in hand just watching as he walks away. What have done wrong? I have asked this question over and over. I watched him drift away from my mother with his many commitments and other interests, and now I think he is leaving me.

I'm grieving.

There is no one who sees it, I didn't see it until today.

I don't know him anymore, and he doesn't know me.


Monday, 4 April 2016

The LEGO® Movie™ 4D A New Adventure review

We were very honoured to be able to go and see the premier of Legoland Discovery Centre's new 4D film. After being flashed by the paparazzi and dodging a few celebs, the children got to meet the stars of the short film, Emmet and Wildstyle!!!!!!




The 12 minute film, exclusive to LEGOLAND®, reunites the characters from the original movie and brings together some of the original voices. It features an entirely new plot and mixed with amazing 4D effects, such as wind, water, smoke and special lighting effects, promises a uniquely imaginative interactive experience. 

The cinema is fab and we were so excited sitting and waiting with our popcorn and 3D glasses!



I don't want to give any spoilers away but we sat right at the front and it was fantastic!!!! If you're stuck for something to do over the school holidays I highly recommend a visit to see the film you won't be disappointed!!



Friday, 1 April 2016

Lamb love

Finally after a hectic term the children have broken up from school for two weeks. It's been a busy but wonderful Easter and now it's time for a bit of family R&R. My husband managed to arrange with his lovely friend who owns a farm for us to come and visit his lambs that have recently been born.

The rain was pouring down as we trotted through the misty hills, the green fields stretched around us as the sound of little lambs bleating on the wind made our faces smile wide.

Watching the lambs bounce around was beautiful, the ewes always had one eye on us except when munching on their feed. We went to see some of the smaller lambs that were under shelter until they were strong enough, it was such a privilege holding and looking after them.



The children had a great time being towed around in a trailer and also walking through the fields,with not one mention about the wet windy weather.



It was hard not to suppress the feeling that my husband and I would love to have a farm one day. It's a real pipe dream but it would be amazing one day to live somewhere that would allow us to have a few sheep and enjoy the beauty of our wonderful world.



It certainly was a great start to the holiday. 




Tuesday, 16 February 2016

Gradu-hate

I've got to be honest I am dreading finishing university in May.

I have no clue what I'm doing afterwards, the questioning has already begun.

"Well obviously you've had three years to figure out what you're doing after you graduate so what IS it you are going to do."

I've changed so much over these three years that my initial career inspiration to start my degree has faded completely. 

I've always thought of myself to be a bit like the Bridget Jones of journalism, bumbling around and sort of passing for a vague attempt of some sort of a career.

At the moment I'm feeling so much pressure to produce some sort of "ready to walk into" job after I graduate.

At this rate I'll be back at Sainsburys just so I can put my super clever eldest daughter through the private school she got into. 

Any career advice is welcome!